Fed up of the same old wedding gift lists? Not really looking for toasters, kettles etc? Then read on...
When deciding on which Gift List company to use, there are some important factors you should take into consideration.
1) Is the gift list service a money contribution type or an actual purchase type?
What’s the difference? Well, the traditional department stores like John Lewis and Debenhams are the “actual purchase” type. In other words, when you add an item to your list and one of your guests buys that item, that item has indeed been physically bought and neither you nor your guest can change your mind about it. With the specialist gift list services like The Bottom Drawer or Wrapit, the list is a “money contribution” type which means your guests make a contribution towards your selected gifts but the gifts aren’t actually bought until after your list closes. This gives you the flexibility to change your mind.
This is worth bearing in mind because if you have your list at a department store you may well end up with odd dinner plates or glasses from a larger set which you then either stick away unused in a cupboard because you don’t have the full set, or you end up having to pay out yourself to complete the set. If you use a more flexible gift list service for those items you can decide when your list closes whether to buy the complete set or use the money received to buy alternative items you can afford instead.
2) Am I limited to the items that store sells?
With the traditional lists at department stores like John Lewis or some of the specialist online stores like Wrapit, yes you are limited to just the items they sell. You might think this isn’t a problem as they offer so many items after all. But, remember it also means you are limited to the price they charge for those items - which could be a very expensive mistake to make.
At flexible gift list companies such as The Bottom Drawer you are able to add any item, from any store to your list. The gift list company simply collects your guests contributions for you which you are then able to spend at any store you wish. To show how much difference this could make, here’s an example with data taken on the 15 February 2007 from John Lewis, Wrapit and The Bottom Drawer. Say you really wanted your guests to contribute towards a new LCD TV. At John Lewis you would have a reasonable choice though at Wrapit if you wanted one over 20” you would have a choice of just 1, the Panasonic TX23LXD60.
At The Bottom Drawer you could choose from every TV available on the market today. But let's stick with the Panasonic to give a fair comparison. At Wrapit the price is £795 for this TV, if you had your list at John Lewis and selected this TV you would have to pay £745. However, if you held your list at The Bottom Drawer you could choose from the best price available, which a Kelkoo search showed to be £494! So going with Wrapit or John Lewis could mean you pay more than £250 over the odds!
It is only at the specialist gift list companies where you can really have a unique gift list. For example, how about a garden makeover paid for by your guests? At The Bottom Drawer this becomes a reality as they can arrange for a local landscaper to produce a quote for you which then forms the basis for your gift list so each square metre of patio can be one gift, each plant another gift and so on! They can also arrange similar services for a new kitchen or bathroom! One couple recently got a hot tub through their gift list service.
3) What if I want gifts from more than one store?
Traditionally, you may want some lower priced gifts from Argos to go with some more exclusive gifts from John Lewis. In the past you would need to set-up two separate gift lists at two separate stores and send out two lots of invitations. With a flexible gift list provider you can have all your gift items on one list (and yes you can often even add items from John Lewis, Next, Argos and the other traditional department stores!)
4) What about the charges?
With the traditional department stores it is usually free to set-up your list and in fact they may offer incentives to draw you in such as vouchers to spend in their store. But remember you are limited to the items that store sells, at the price that store charges which could be quite expensive (see point 2 above)! You should also check delivery charges as whist some will be free, others will charge a separate, small delivery charge to each guest which can add up to quite a significant amount of wasted money.
With the alternative flexible gift lists the charges are normally split in two ways: charges to you to set up and use the list and charges that are levied against the value of the gifts your guests make to you. You need to compare carefully to know the full charges you will be paying. Many of the services that offer a free facility to set-up the list then go on to charge 9% or more on to the orders from your guests.
Not only can this add up to an awful lot of money but your guests won’t be too happy either! Some services such as The Bottom Drawer are set-up in such a way that potentially there is no cost for you the couple to use the service AND no cost for your guests to make contributions (if they pay by cheque for example rather than credit card) as they earn income by selling items direct to you or from commission received from the companies they work with to provide gifts.
You should also check that all payment options are supported for your guests so that those that prefer not to pay by credit or debit card have the option to pay by cheque and over the phone too. One final thing to bear in mind is that the money collected may be used to purchase gifts from stores other than the gift list company - so you should check what the delivery charges will be from the store(s) you will eventually by buying your gifts from.
Another recent introduction is the Confetti Wish list card. Whilst at first this looks a good idea, again it's the small print that may catch you out. As well as the £15 sign-up fee, every time a guest wants to leave you a contribution they get charged a £2 admin fee. If you have say 75 guests then that's another £150 of charges eaten up by the card. There is also no way for your guests to make a contribution other than online using a debit or credit card.
Security
Naturally when several thousand pounds is potentially being collected via your gift list you need to feel certain that your money will be safe in the hands of the gift list company. No matter what the size of the company they can never totally guarantee to be around forever - witness some household names (not wedding related!) that have disappeared over the years. But there are ways you can limit the risk.
For one, any transactions that your guests make using a credit or debit card must be handled over a secure server using encrypted technology. This is fairly standard these days.
Also, fairly good protection is offered when your guests use a credit card as the credit card companies can often be obliged to refund any money if a company gets into difficulty and can’t fulfill on its promises. But this doesn’t apply to debit cards or cheques.
A good thing to do is check the small print for the company you are dealing with - do they openly tell you about the directors of the company? If it is a limited company it is much easier to track down who is behind the company in case something goes wrong - if you are dealing with a small internet company it could be very difficult for you to get any comeback if the company goes bust.
Finally, consider how secure your own information is - what if someone hacked into a site, pretended to be you by obtaining your details, and asked for your gift list funds to be transferred to THEIR bank account! Only one gift list company in the UK is certified by the worlds leading compliance company to be Hacker safe - and that’s The Bottom Drawer. Their site is tested daily to make sure it is secure against all known hacker tricks.
Conclusion
So our advice is to think twice before going with the traditional department store - there is much more choice to be had elsewhere. And if you opt for a flexible gift list service then always check the (sometimes very) small print to know what ALL the charges - both to you AND your guests - will be. Finally, consider how secure your gift list funds will be with that company. Only The Bottom Drawer offers Hacker safe protection.
Article written and supplied by Ian Bush, Managing Director of The Bottom Drawer. ©2007
They were known as "groomsmen" - a term still used in some parts of the country to describe ushers at a wedding. The closest and most valiant of the bridegroom's associates became known as the "best man".
The wedding cake first started with Ancient Egyptians as a cake of wheat or barley and was broken over the bride’s head to signify fertility. But early Roman bakers, whose art was held in highest regard, grew offended at the waste of wheat. They began to bake small, hand-sized cakes - to be eaten, not thrown. Festive guests, fond of the tradition of pelting the bride, tossed the cakes anyway.
The Roman philosopher Lucretius offered this compromise: crumble the cakes over the bride's head, and to further symbolize fertility, the bride and groom would save a bit of the cake to feed each other. In the Middle Ages, when times were hard in England, people were less willing to throw food.
The sweet cakes evolved to simple biscuits, and guests were encouraged to bring their own. After the eating - and yes, still some throwing - the leftovers were collected into a pile, to be distributed amongst the poor. The size of the pile quickly became symbolic of the prosperity of the couple, who exchanged kisses atop the mound.
Ironically, it was this frugal practice that gave rise to the multitiered monolith we are familiar with today. The French chef of King Charles II witnessed the cake-piling ceremony and was appalled at the haphazard stack. Inspired to build an organized, tiered work of iced art, it became the rage of all France. Then During the reign of King Edward II, the cake was first (and since) iced white.
Why is a wedding ring worn on the third finger of the left hand?
As far as we know, the ancient Egyptians were the first to place a ring on the third finger of the left hand to signify the marriage union.
It was placed on that finger because Egyptians believed that the "vein of love" ran from this finger to the heart. They They used a ring because they believed that the circle was the symbol for eternity. It represented perfection because it had no beginning and no end. Rings found in ancient Egyptian tombs were made of pure gold.
The name or title of the owner was engraved on the ring in hieroglyphs. The poorer citizens of Egypt wore rings of silver, bronze, amber, ivory, or simply glazed pottery. Because gold was precious to the early Romans, a gold ring symbolized everlasting love and commitment.
King Edward VI of England decreed that the third finger on the left hand was to be the ring finger.
In the 1549 Book of Common Prayer, the left hand was designated as the marriage hand.
From the earliest times in our history, people have always given advice to newly married couples such as "comfort each other," "respect one another," and "listen to each other." One of my personal favorites is "Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire!"
Why a White Wedding?
White weddings became fashionable during Victorian times when Queen Victoria became the first modern royal bride to wear white when she married Prince Albert. Until then, white had actually been the colour royals wore when in mourning, so the choice of colour was considered unusual at the time but caught on very quickly. While the white dress has came to symbolise purity, it was, in fact, never meant to symbolise virginity which is traditionally denoted by the wearing of a veil.
Where Did The Term "Wedding Breakfast" Originate?
If you were wondering why couples have a ‘wedding breakfast' in the afternoon, it is believed to derive from the tradition that a bride and groom would not eat on their wedding day until after the reception following the service. Hence the couple would ‘break' their ‘fast' with their guests.
Why Do Horeshoes Bring Luck?
Horseshoes are widely believed to bring luck, particularly in Christian countries, and this is why they are often given to couples or, at least, feature on invitations, floral arrangements or cake decorations. It is believed to stem from St Dunstan who became Archbishop of Canterbury in 959. In a traditional tale he is apparently asked to shoe a horse for the devil, but instead nailed a horse shoe to his door declaring the devil could never enter a place where he saw a horse shoe.
Something Borrowed, Something Blue...
The origins behind the phrase ‘something borrowed, something blue, something old and something new' are not known for sure, but the saying is believed to be about good luck for the future. The old item is supposed to symbolise the bride's family, the new item is to represent the future and the borrowed item is to show the bridge has friends she can count on. The blue part is believed to go back to Roman times when it was common to marry in blue. This remained the case in Europe because blue was seen as the pure colour of the Virgin Mary. It was not until Victorian times that brides began to wear white. Originally the verse had an extra, final line of ‘and a silver sixpence in her shoe' to represent financial security.
